the rules of the game.

Of course, no matter how much I love the Em Dash School, I'll always love their rivals, the Badminton 5, branching out from the Dada Movement, founded by an heir to the Thomas Minton & Sons pottery manufacturing industry.

They were opposed to everything! Sometimes they were even opposed to opposition. The one thing that bound them together was their uniformity; three men, one woman, one dog, all wearing badminton outfits and using the word "shuttlecock" as a substitute for almost any other word (mostly they would say the word and point to what they really meant, like a sandwich–or say "that is shuttlecock" and indicate approval or disapproval with socially accepted head-gestures ((although legend has it that the last remaining member of the group, the german shepherd Aramis, would go on to work sound design in Hollywood, and in his old age–incredibly old in dog years–he would go on to assist in the original Exorcist, weaving the Badminton 5's special word nearly undetected into the one scene in the movie known for its socially unaccepted head-gesture)).

This is all to say that I've adapted an old theory from their early works. See, they'd hang out in opposite to everything. They'd bring bags on salt with diced radishes to sit on the curb outside of Minton's in Harlem and hum showtunes. They loved pop when bebop was the thing. When jazz went cool, they went esoteric, whether pleasing or not. They had to stand for something, even if that were nothing, the act of standing was still an act, or something...

My point is that you can judge the great American song. Take the chorus to any contender. Just the chorus. Flip on basic cable at lunchtime. If you can adapt the chorus to any show changing only adverbs or prepositions or articles within the chorus (verbs and nouns stay the same), then its great.

"I had the time of my life and I owe it all to you."

Alright, a Tyra special about kidney transplants, easy. The recepient would sing:

"I had more time in my life and I owe it all to you."

Jerry Springer? Easy.

"I had the time with your wife and I owe it all to you being in prison for two years for attempted murder."

Oh wait. That last doesn't work. That's either my fault, or a judgement against the rules of the game.